Disney Marathon: ‘Tarzan’

04/09/2021 by gfunk101

We approached this one with the trepidation of ripping off a band-aid.

For those just joining us, this is a movie marathon with a twist. Myself (cranky 40 year old blogger), my son Josh (10 year old Nintendo obsessive) and my daughter Amelia (drama llama 8 year old princess) are watching Disney movies in a random order and ranking them. We hope to see interesting differences in how we organise our lists.

Film: Tarzan

Released: 1999

Director: Kevin Lima and Chris Buck

Cast: Brian Blessed, Tony Goldwyn, Minnie Driver, Glenn Close, Lance Henriksen, Nigel Hawthorne, Rosie O’Donnell, Wayne Knight

Plot: A young child is raised in the jungle by gorillas. With the appearance of more white people, Tarzan finds himself torn between two worlds.

Review: It’s amazing how much the soundtrack derails this movie. Disney leaned very heavily into the Phil Collins as auteur here, giving him free rein to put out an album attached to a Disney movie. Whether you like Phil Collins or not, his power ballads land at the most jarring time. Often the story comes to a grinding halt for these slow pans of scenery set to Phil Collins crooning. It really lowers the experience.

If that makes the movie sound padded out, that’s because it is. There are so many montages in place of storytelling. We get a montage of Tarzan’s parents learning to live in the jungle, Tarzan growing up among the apes, Tarzan getting to understand the white people’s culture…there seems to be an assumption that we’re going to lose interest if we’re not rushing to the next earnest Phil Collins ballad.

I struggle to find things to say about this movie because I always struggle to recall the details. There’s a penny farthing? And he can tie a complex bow? How we get from the first and final act is all a blur. Nothing really happens in this story. There are a couple of Disney movies that stand out for at least being unique, but Tarzan feels like a very safe attempt to replicate the success of the fading Disney renaissance.

Some of it is shockingly mishandled. Most of the casting is fine, but they cool and marketable to children role is given to Rosie O’Donnell. Ms. O’Donnell has many talents, but she’s not especially marketable to children. Her routine does not set well alongside the Actor Experience brought to the table by Brian Blessed and Nigel Hawthorne.

Best Song: eh…

Coolest Easter Egg: There’s a fine Mrs. Potts cameo, but that’s all we remember.

Weirdest Trivia: Brian Blessed provided the voice to the evil Clayton. When Tony Goldwyn couldn’t quite muster the signature Tarzan yell, Blessed stepped up to the plate.

Rating: THREE out of TEN

THE RANKING

This movie was quite well received on release, but I’m not seeing it. It seems to have slipped out of public consciousness though.

Click those titles if you want to see what we said about the other movies.