Director: Michel Gondry

Starring: Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, Christolph Waltz, Cameron Pelican Diaz

Plot: A revisit of the old school vigilante radio and television serial that sees the brat son of a media magnate go up against local mob bosses and corrupt politicians under the guise of ‘The Green Hornet’.

Review:During production both director Gondry and star Rogen were vocal about this not being a comedy film, but a serious turn as a superhero. Obviously this idea got kicked in the head along the way, but not early enough to make a funny movie out of this mess.The new approach seemed to be allowing Rogen to go off script in every scene, yapping in a high pitched tone whilst the rest of the cast tries to fill in, and generally failing. Nobody lets the team down quite as much as Jay Chou, whose approach to expressing every emotion is to stare blankly into space. Next to him even the crowbarred in Cameron Diaz seems like an actor. Almost.

While douchebag millionaire superheroes like Tony Stark have proven that being a hero can be a barrel of fun, the Green Hornet and Kato are both so completely unlikeable that watching them blow up red light cameras isn’t even amusing. It’s impossible to get on the side of a pair of vigilantes who, on their first outing, commit acts of vandalism, get interrupted by muggers who they beat up before murdering a police officer by running him off the road.

The story is non-existant – everyone just seems to be making stuff up as they go along. This leaves everyone acting with uncertainity or without any motivation whatsoever. None of the performances are worth watching, which is depressing when talking about actors like Christoph Waltz and Edward Olmos.

The action scenes are equally mishandled with crummy special effects and a retarded gimmick where Kato can see time stop and big red flashing lights around danger when his “heart beats quickly”. Bruce Lee he ain’t. This concept becomes even more idiotic when Rogen starts using it after ‘remembering’ Kato explaining it.

As for the direction – bloody terrible. Pro-tip Gondry: don’t obscure half the screen with bits of furniture. For a director who’s handled absurdest comedy and surrealism so well in the past you’d think the Green bloody Hornet remake would be a cake walk.

Don’t see this movie.

ONE outta TEN

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