Best of Geekery: Why the ‘American Pie’ Reunion is Happening

American ReunionBetween the Pie and the Reunion, something went wrong.

I felt kinda embarrassed for the cast of The Fast and the Furious when they had to reunite for the fourth instalment. It represented a low point in their careers when they had to return to their launching point to try and start over…then I saw news about ‘American Pie 4: The Reunion’, in which the characters all come back for their high school reunion THIRTEEN years after the original film.

I got curious about what happened to the cast…and started doing some research. The results made me feel sad.

Jason Biggs aka ‘Jim’

Jason Biggs

Of the five guys in the film Biggs looked as though he had the best chance at a movie career. He was, after all, the guy who knobbed the pie. Plus he had the best scenes in the movie – swapping dialogue with Eugene Levy. He even proved that he had some dramatic chops with his first lead role in Loser. After throwing his hat in with Kevin Smith for roles in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and Jersey Girl, his filmography descended deeper and deeper into obscurity until he was doing voice work on docu-parody Farce of the Pengiuns and made-for-television movies. At this point it looks as though he’s just trying to pay the rent.

Last time seen in cinema: Lower Learning (2008)

Lower Learning

Rottentomatoes Score: Not enough viewers to get a score.

Chris Klein aka ‘Oz’

Chris Klein

Initially Klein looked like he was the one making the smart moves. He managed to avoid the drastically unfunny American Pie: The Wedding due to scheduling conflicts and scored a role in the indie favourite Election. Then he took a part in John McTeiren’s disaster known as the Rollerball remake. The lead part to be precise. His next big role was in the universally laughed at Street-Fighter: Chun-Li movie. That pretty much brought his career to a grinding halt, baring a part in the up-and-coming remake of Aussie sitcom Wilfred. Another case of the rent needing paying.

Last time seen in cinema: Caught in the Crossfire (2010)

Caught in the Crossfire

Rottentomatoes Score: 24%

Thomas Ian Nicholas aka ‘Kevin’

Thomas Ian Nicholas

Nicholas and his on-screen counterpart in American Pie had one thing in common: they’re not particularly likeable. Rising from child-star status in films such as Rookie of the Year and A Kid in King Arthur’s Court, his career fizzled quicker than others post-Pie. His filmography is a long list of movies you’ve never heard of, nor would you care to. At least he’s been consistent with a steady stream of at least three ignored movies every year.

Last time seen in cinema: Fading of the Cries (2011)

Fading of the Cries

Rottentomatoes score: 0%

Eddie Kaye Thomas aka ‘Finch’

Eddie Kaye Thomas

Finch seems to have been content with making cameo appearances rather than building his legacy following his break-out role, popping up in Harold and Kumar and Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist. He’s filled in the rest of the time on television with American Dad, How to Make it in America and others. I’m sure he’ll be happy to get back to his nap following the Reunion.

Last time seen in cinema: Venus & Vegas (2010)

Venus and Vegas

Rottentomatoes score: Not listed.

Seann William Scott aka ‘Stifler’

Sean William Scott

Possibly the furthest fall from stardom. A somewhat charismatic performer with most of the quotable lines from the series, plus it was his name used to sell the spin-off series (not his character or the actor, mind you). He actually managed to do pretty well up until 2008, with high profile films like Evolution, Role Models, Dukes of Hazzard, Welcome to the Jungle and more. Not sure why he’s been laying low for the past three years, but without this reunion he may have slipped of the radar entirely.

Last time seen in cinema: Cop Out (2010)

Cop Out

Rottentomatoes score: 19%

Tara Reid

Tara Reid

For much of the past decade Tara Reid has been the person paparazzi follows when Lindsay Lohan is laying low. Once a potential sex-symbol, botched plastic surgery caused by seeking to short-cut her way to six-pack abs for a movie role left her with a physical deformity. Without the talent to match her looks, this left her with little more than straight-to-video movies. The party girl also managed two failed engagements before announcing a marriage to a Danish businessman who denied the claim. Through in an Ed Hardy clothing line, Playboy spread and getting kicked out of ‘Celebrity Big Brother’ almost as fast as she went in and you’ve got a train wreck of a career.

Last time seen in cinema: the Uwe Boll film Alone in the Dark (2005)

Alone in the Dark

Rottentomatoes score: 1%

Shannon Elizabeth

Shannon Elizabeth

Elizabeth took only a small step away from her role as exchange student Nadia to pick up roles in Tomcats and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and followed those up with a long, drawn out series of cheap clunkers, TV cameos and voice acting in video games. To be fair, she seems to consider acting as a side gig to her ‘second career’ as a professional poker player, which she has done moderately well in.

Last time seen in cinema: Night of the Demons (2010)

Night of the demon

Rottentomatoes score: 29%

Natasha Lyonne

Natasha Lyonne

Balancing between Hollywood comedies and indie fare such as But I’m a Cheerleader, there was potential for a good comedy career here. What’s surprising was how she’s managed to keep making movies the past ten years amid all the trouble she’s gotten into. Arrested for DUI in 2001, evicted due to complaints about behaviour in 2003, on methadone treatment in 2005 before being on the run from the police in 2006 after missing court dates for charges of harassment, trespassing and mischief. Sounds like she’s been having a good time, but another movie might not be what she needs…

Last time seen in cinema: All About Evil (2009)

All About Evil

Rottentomatoes score: Not enough viewings to get a rating.

Mena Suvari

Mena Suvari

Whilst playing the sweet and innocent choir girl in American Pie she also gained attention for the sexy and sultry cheerleader in American Beauty. After a few television roles and indie drug drama Spun she just kinda faded from view. Aside from an awful Day of the Dead remake and a small role in highly acclaimed series ‘Six Feet Under’, Suvari has had no acting roles of note at all.

Last time seen in cinema: Day of the Dead (2007)

Day of the Dead

Rottentomatoes score: 14%

Allison Hannigan

Alyson Hannigan

Guess there’s one success story to come out of this ensemble after all! After making her name playing Willow in ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’, her film career never really took off. Instead she nabbed a recurring role is the awesome ‘Veronica Mars’ before landing the massively successful sitcom ‘How I Met Your Mother’.

I wouldn’t have bothered seeing American The Pie Reunion, as it feels like a relic from a bygone era…but now it feels like an act of charity.