Things that Science-Fiction Writers Need to Stop Doing

Do you know what’s awesome? Batman…IN THE FUTURE!!!

Batman Beyond, the animated series and the comic series, both focus on a new Batman who lives in the future. It’s pretty cool. Batmans not the only character to reappear in the future either. Buffy, Spider-Man, Hulk, X-Men…there are dozens of re-imaginings of iconic characters with a sci-fi bent to them. Although most of them don’t survive past the gimmick phase of their readership it’s always a fun little experiment.

What bothers me, however, is how much these futures look alike. No matter how far into the future they are set, everything looks the same from character to character. In the name of originality, stop doing the following…

In the Future, Everything is Neon

Everything. Every sign, every car, every building is lit up with neon lights. In many incarnations of the future (and Batman Forever oddly enough) even gang fashion seems to be based around neon being cool. I thought that we, as a society, had come to understand that neon was ugly back in the 1980s, but it seems that everyone gets on board the neon train at some undefined point in the future because the freaking stuff is everywhere!

Awkward Slang and Curse Words

Yes, we know that language is fluid and goes through trends. Hardly anyone says ‘cowabunga’ any more (one of the many problems with modern society) and new terms have become more widely spread. It makes sense that in the future language would’ve changed further. But writers on these stories seem to make a game of finding the most awkward, silly sounding word for their characters to drop in whenever they can as though they’re trying to make some retarded point about language. This concept can be handled well, however, as evidenced by Burgess’ A Clockwork Orange, but in most instances it just sounds and reads terrible. In the future everyone should just say frak.

Commentary on Pop Culture and/or Advertising

We get it, you think that modern pop culture and advertising is silly. And you’re going to express this sentiment by making the television shows and advertising in your fictional future more intrusive, annoying and stupid as before. But here’s the problem – there are entire texts based on this idea. The Running Man, Battle Royale and to a lesser extent Gamer have all tackled this concept, slipping it into the background of yours is not needed. Especially not in dross like Minority Report where it’s used to slip in product placement.

Colourful Gangs

When a gang appears in public they want to appear tough. Part of the point of their outward appearance is to intimidate those around them. When we get to the future, however, all the gangs all look like the more colourful gangs from The Warriors on a Mardi Gras float. There is not one single version of futuristic gangs that look even slightly menacing. Not even Frank ‘Sin City’ Miller managed this in The Dark Knight Returns. For the life of me I cannot fathom why all the gangs of the future dress like a bunch of kids who’ve gotten into a dress up box.

Fashion

This is something else that the creators of ‘future version of X’ seem intend on passing judgement on. Fashion trends change and sometimes something that is briefly fashionable can look silly. It’s easy to parody this by making fashions in the future over-the-top and crazy. Where it loses the since of believability is when the clothing is the opposite of practicality and comfort. Back to the Future Part II has crazy looking fashion – but it’s practical! Shoes that lace themselves and self-drying jackets are cool. Compare that to clothing from The Fifth Element – parody of fashion or no, there is no reason anyone would dress like Gary Oldman. Even things like the armour worn by the cops would be rendered useless by the first narrow corridor they encounter.

Holograms and Video Phones

Technology continues to evolve. Smartphones can do things that seemed pretty gosh darn sci-fi only ten years ago. There’s a reason that these technologies are successful: because they fit into our every day life. Future communication technologies are often shown to be video or hologram based technologies. Pretty speccy – but with one major flaw. You have to stand still to use them. Mobile phones took off so quickly because we could now make phone calls on the move. It was more convenient. Video call technology is now widely available on many mobile phones but how often do you see people using it in public? Add to that the awkwardness of having to make yourself presentable every time you want to make a call (citing Aliens night-time call between Ripley and Burke) and you have two reasons why this technology simply won’t be used.