The Worst Attempt to Turn Batman into a News Story?


Right now news.com.au is running a story fronted by the headline ‘Batman Trilogy Plagued by “Curse”. In this article news.com.au desperately attempts to link a series of completely unrelated events and declare it a curse. Why? Because they want to run another Batman story. Also they’re retards. Let’s look, shall we?

THE Colorado massacre has again stirred up talk that the Batman film franchise is cursed.

Talk? Is there anyone talking about it other than you and the voice in your head?

Before the horrific cinema shooting spree that left 12 dead and 59 injured, one of the greatest tragedies associated with the film was the death of Heath Ledger, who played the Joker in The Dark Knight, The Daily Mail reports.

Yes, this is true. Both events were tragic.

The Australian actor died in January 2008 at the age of 28 from an accidental overdose of prescription drugs, six months before the film’s release.

Ledger’s chilling portrayal of Batman’s flame-haired arch nemesis, The Joker, later earned him a posthumous Academy Award.

Ok, let’s get one thing straight. Flame-haired?

Unless you’ve been using Floo Powder as a product, that hair is not any kind of flame coloured. This is basic colour identification. Funk Jr knows the difference between green and red, and he’s two years old. You who wrote this article, you’ve published a mistake that my two year old wouldn’t make.

Now let’s address something else. Heath Ledger’s death was not in any way affected, influenced or in any way related to The Dark Knight. In fact, The Dark Knight had finished filming the best part of a year before Ledger tragically died and the young actor had time to complete principal work on The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus before succumbing to an accidental overdose. Stop milking this.

The filming of The Dark Knight  was marred by another tragedy – the death of New Zealander Conway Wickliffe.

The  special effects technician was on a camera truck filming a stunt when it crashed into a tree in October 2007.

Also tragic. And actually occurred during the filming of the movie. But not judged as important as an actor who died a year after the movie.

A stuntwoman for Catwoman Anne Hathaway was injured during the filming of The Dark Knight Rises.

On the set of the recent instalment, The Dark Knight Rises, a stunt double for Anne Hathaway, who plays Catwoman, reportedly crashed into expensive camera equipment during filming in Pittsburgh.

I put the most incorrect word in this section in bold. Hathaway’s stunt double (who’s name they didn’t look up, presuming the five seconds it took on google to find out it was Kale Slade wasn’t worth it) did crash into an IMAX camera and destroy it. No-one was injured. At all. An IMAX camera was also destroyed on the previous Batman film, but there wasn’t anyone who they could lie about being injured.

On the same film there was another stuntman actually DID get injured when he got wedged in a roof after a failed parachute jump. But since they couldn’t link the stunt man to Anne Hathaway it’s not really worth mentioning, right?

The Batman “curse” also touched The Dark Knight’s other stars, Hollywood favourite Morgan Freeman and Christian Bale.

Batman star Christian Bale has also suffered personal difficulties during the filming of the Batman trilogy. 

Gotta watch out for those personal difficulties.

Freeman, who played Lucius Fox in the film, was seriously injured in a car accident in Mississippi in August 2008.

The crash left both Freeman and his passenger Demaris Meyer badly injured after the car flipped several times and landed in a ditch.

Again, totally unrelated to the filming or release of any of the Batman movies.

In the days after the accident, Freeman and his wife of 24 years announced they were divorcing

Even less related, it such a thing is possible.

His passenger, who was widely reported to have been his mistress, denied she was romantically linked to him and sued the actor for negligence.

Only of interest to gossipy assholes.

Christian Bale, the star of the franchise, also failed to escape the trilogy’s run of bad luck.

The famously volatile actor, who plays Batman, hit the headlines in July 2008 when he was arrested for allegedly assaulting his mother and sister at the Dorchester Hotel shortly before the London’s premiere.

Arrested for assaulting his mother is ‘bad luck’?! And unless he did it while dressed like Batman, totally unrelated.

Let’s get something clear – what happened in Denver is a tragedy. It is also the actions of one sick individual. It was not caused by the movie, and it has nothing to do with any of the other events described above. Trying to claim that it’s the work of a ‘curse’ is not only in terrible taste, but cheapens the deaths of those who have been murdered. Doing it for the sake of a tacky headline is despicable.

Batman has a message for you, assholes.

Original article here: dumb-ass article.

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