Movie Review: ‘Moonraker’ (50 Years of Bond)

Director: Lewis Gilbert

Cast: Roger Moore, Michael Lonsdale, Lois Chiles, Robert Kiel, Desmond Llewelyn, Bernard Lee, Lois Maxwell

Plot: When a prototype space shuttle is hijacked mid flight James Bond is sent in to investigate the crafts designer and building, Hugo Drax. He uncovers a plot to eradicate human life on Earth and repopulate with a chosen group of ‘perfect’ people.

Review: Well, shit. Whilst putting together a series of reviews from the back catalog of Bond films you have to eventually balance out the Goldfingers and Goldeneye‘s with dross like this. Here’s a fun experiment – find someone unfamiliar with the James Bond series, show them this and tell them that it’s a comedy. They’ll believe it. This is more of a farce (and we mean that narrative and stylistically, not as an insult against the film) than a genuine spy thriller. James Bond behaves more like a parody of a spy then an actual spy.

The notion of sending James Bond into space isn’t what turned this film into a joke. It certainly makes sense for a movie being made during the golden age of space travel when people wanted to see movies that saw characters like Bond heading off to the stars. Handled well this could have been one of the more daring and unique films in a series already renown for getting a bit over-the-top. Instead we have Moonraker and we’re worse off for it.

It starts out well for, you know, two minutes. Bond encounters the popular foe Jaws on a plane and throws him into the air. It’s a tense moment as Bond grapples with an opponent mid-air – but then Jaws is left in free-fall and he comically flaps his arms while circus music plays over the soundtrack. Then he lands on a circus tent and survives. Somehow. This is the first indication that the film-makers have been eating way too much sherbert and have gone loopy on us. Hopeful viewers may dismiss this as a misstep early in the piece, but sadly this is the status quo from this point on.

Let’s just look at the moronic creative choices made in this movie. The sped up footage of the dogs eating to show how vicious they are. When Bond remembers that Q gave him a gadget they inserted shots of Q into the scene. Scenes set at night are clearly filmed during the day with a blue tinted added later. James Bond has his codename stenciled on his equipment. There’s a random giant clown. Jaws is given a romantic sub-plot. For one scene Bond dresses like Clint Eastwood in the Dollars Trilogy. Bond drives a hovercraft across Venice and a seagull does a double take.

What really cements this film as a farce is the complete lack of sense is the complete disregard Bond shows for his profession as a spy. It never crosses his mind that he should act less brazenly or obvious. He drives an inflatable boat through Venice in front of hundreds of onlookers. He labels his equipment. He shoots one of Drax’s henchmen in front of him and a dozen witnesses without repercussion. Drax is as much a lunatic as Bond, setting his goons to kill him before Bond has shown any suspicion of his activities. He spends more time setting up elaborate death traps then actually killing people. When he discovers that an employee is a spy he lets her run away through the woods. He has an assassin hide in a coffin floating down the main canal in Venice – pretty sure a guy getting out of a coffin in a busy transport route may draw attention.

It’s downright impossible to take this nonsense seriously. It may have worked as a comedy but this is a Bond film. It’s OK to be a little silly and over the top but this is bloody stupid. If there’s one good thing to say about this movie it’s this: it’s only the second worst Bond film.

Score: TWO outta TEN