The 10 Most Manly Disney Songs

The Disney Princess brand is heavily marketed towards girls. You can tell because it’s all pink. The Disney company are perfectly happy with this arrangement – they dropped 8 billion on Marvel and Star Wars so they’d have something different for boys. This is ignoring the fact that some of the songs in those Disney animated classics are manly as. Let’s take a look.

10. The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind

For this list we angled towards songs that appeal to or celebrate stereotypical male values. This, combined with my need to spruik the under-appreciated classic The Great Mouse Detective, lands us with ‘The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind. The song is about being an awesome leader of a criminal network. Ratigan is ruthless, vicious and loves every second of it, and will sing a song about it. To make the song even more awesome the score is composed by Henry Mancini and sung by horror movie legend Vincent Price.

9. Ev’rybody Wants to Be a Cat

The term ‘alley cat’ can be applied to a man who lives fast and loose, a swinging bachelor. Modern culture tells us that all men desire this lifestyle or will at least pretend that they do. It’s embodied in this smooth jazz number, which appeared in The Aristocats, and comes from a time when Disney would experiment with musical style a but more. We wouldn’t see something like this happen again so give it another listen.

8. A Pirates Life

Peter Pan is all about hanging on to your childhood, and what embodies this more than playing pirate? This is a joyful ode to a life on the sea taking what you want and answering to no-one. If that doesn’t speak to the child inside every man I don’t know what will. It’s short, but it deserves a spot just for the knife throwing.

7. I’ve Got a Dream

Yes, that one from Tangled. When you get down to it this song speaks strongly of brotherhood. The savage thugs and barbarians are self assured enough to talk about their secret dreams and support each other every step of the way. Down here in Australia we call that mateship, a word that almost made the constitution (for real).

6. I Just Can’t Wait to Be King

One of the integral plot threads throughout The Lion King is Simba’s journey to maturity, going from child to a king. But as a child he is very clear about what being a king would be about – him. This is an ego let off the leash.

5. The Bare Necessities

When the bear Baloo meets man-cub Mowgli he takes it upon himself to pass on some manly life advice. That advice – chill out. Take it easy. So long as you get a feed and some sleep there’s not much else you need. It’s a catchy tune with a good message.

4. Prince Ali

Much like Simba, Aladdin has some clear ideas about what power and prestige will be about. Part of a larger plan to woo the princess, Aladdin’s new identity is a lavish celebration of materialism and excess. Pretty much what every bloke would do is suddenly given bottomless riches.

3. Zero to Hero

Not the only track from Hercules that was considered! The post-modern take on the classic tale was not the biggest hit from the House of the Mouse but it had some great moments, like James Woods’ as Hades and this song about being awesome, about kicking ass, taking names and being revered for your manliness.

2. Gaston

This song never, ever, ever fails to make me laugh. Gaston would be the hero in any typical fairy tale, but his out of control narcissism makes him a misguided villain. This drawn out reflection on how much Gaston loves himself rivals Duke Nukem in over-the-top masculinity. And it’s amazing.

1. I’ll Make a Man Out of You

Of course this is number one, it’s right there in the title! Captain Li Shan is all about being hardcore and you’re going to meet his expectations or he is going to break you. This is his ode to what is means to be a man…ironically only being inspirational the woman hiding in his midst. Try putting this on the PA at the gym, see what effect it has.