This Guy REALLY Wants Me to Promote Gambling and The 5 Shittiest Pieces of Marvel Merchandise


Ok, I know what you’re thinking...what is with that title? Gambling promotion and shitty Marvel merchandise are not related topics. Stay with me on this though, I promise a fun time. To begin this journey we have to go back to 2014, the year we published the feature “We’ve Been Offered Money to Promote Online Gambling“. It was in response to an increasing number of emails we’d been receiving requesting that we promote various products on the site, usually online casinos. We hit an ethical dilemma when they started offering us money to do this. Seriously, some offered us $200 for what would amount to 20 minutes work.

If you haven’t read the article and can’t be arsed doing so now, we ultimately decided that we would turn down all offers. There’s a number of reasons for this. I’ll summarise:

  • I find it unethical to trick our readers with promotional material disguised as an article.
  • I don’t want content to be dictated by financial gain or outside influence.
  • I personally find it immoral to promote an industry that has been linked to domestic violence, inescapable poverty, substance abuse, mental health issues and suicide. If you want to gamble and can separate the addictive nature with simple entertainment that’s your business, but I choose not to promote it.
  • Online gambling sites are often criticised for their heavy handed, manipulative tactics in retaining clients and charging fees based on the amount of winnings a person gains, in addition to other illegal and unethical practises.

The article was a popular one and I gained a lot of support, which was nice. It also provided me with a go-to response to subsequent offers and they’d quickly leave me alone.

First annoying promoter

Those are just the ones who get pushy about it. Usually a brief ‘no thanks’ is enough. The above was the end of a seven part email chain. Aside from the above example there haven’t been any taking it further than that.

Until this week. Meet Harry.

Annoying Casino Guy 1

Apologies to Side Eye Chloe for including her in this.

Nine times out of ten the question about it being a casino is enough to shoo them away. In every single contact I’ve received they skirt around the ‘online gambling’ part of the deal for as long as possible. Almost as though they know that it’s immoral to push gambling and suspect mentioning it would put people off. Not our boy Harry!

Annoying Casino Guy 2

Harry hopes that promoting an online gambling site isn’t a problem for us. As stated above I DO have a problem with it. So I link up the article where I explain my problems with the concept. Time to go about my day without any further contact from Harry and his online gambling promotion.

Annoying Casino Guy 4

Oh. Ok, to be fair he did have to correct me. It’s not promoting my ‘followers to gamble’, and it shouldn’t even have any clues that it’s a promotion! It’s just a regular, normal, typical article from us at House of Geekery that just so happens to have a paid link to an online gambling site! Clearly I’m the idiot here.

I wrote something along these lines in response to Harry to make it abundantly clear that I wasn’t interested. It was an angry email. Spiteful, even. Just as a went to press ‘Send’ something stopped me. It was late at night. Work was busy. I had the flu. I wanted to have fun.

Annoying Casino Guy 5

I was expecting Harry to turn around and call me out. I’d gone from condemning the practice of native advertising (that is disguising an advertisement as content) and scornful of the online gambling industry straight to holding my hand out for a slice. Obviously this was a ploy and any self-respecting online operator would call bullshit.

Annoying Casino Guy 6

 

$50! Hot diggity! Let’s write an article! Since he wants it to look like a normal, casual mention of Marvel merchandise we figured a Top 10 style piece was suitable. Before we get cracking, Harry had some stipulations…

Annoying Casino Guy 7

Urgh, whatever. I’m going to write the article and post it to him.

TOP 5 SHITTIEST PIECES OF MARVEL MERCHANDISE

Dedicated to Harry

5. These Spider-Man Toys

spidey3

These two get to go together because they’re equally amazing. The entire notion of a superhero hitting the beach in a special beach costume is just as awesome as that crazy safari outfit!

4. Punisher’s CROTCH ROCKET!

Punisher2

He’s going to shoot you! WITH HIS PENIS! LOL!

3. The J. Jonah Jameson Jacket

jjonahjameson

Actually, this is rad. That giant suit jacket he’s rocking just looks so…cosy.

2. The Wolverine Blowjob Simulator

blow-up-wolverine-punching-bag

LOL! Another penis joke!

1. This Fucking Casino

If you hate money, self esteem and your loved ones get over to casino.com/uk/ to play gimmicky online gambling games with a tacky Marvel themed skin over the screen! This is just a regular article and we’re not getting $50 at all!

Don’t worry! They promote responsible gambling! Look at their homepage! If you can’t see it, we added a red circle.

bullshit casino

Feel the compassion.

So that’s it folks. Time to hit ‘Publish’, tell Harry the good news that the article is live and make plans to spend my $50! Maybe I’ll buy Harry a present. Perhaps a GIANT FUCKING HINT because he can’t seem to find one without help.

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