The Many Deaths of Kenny McCormick


Go anywhere there’s a gathering a pop culture affeciandos and say,”Oh my god they killed Kenny!” and you will be most likely greeted with the sound of, “You bastards.” Over the past 15 seasons one of the staples of the beloved series South Park has been the routine killing of one of it’s main characters, Kenny McCormick. Often written off by many because he lacks the friendship that defines Kyle and Stan and he’s not as iconic as Cartman; Kenny has earned a place in television history. In honor to give proper respect to the mumbling kid in the orange parka we all love, here are his greatest demises.

Starvin’ Marvin: When the boys end up adopting a child from Africa during the midst of a turkey crisis. An inevitable battle is waged for the fate of South Park and Kenny is pecked to death during combat.

Sexual Harassment Panda:  Cartman with the help of Kyle’s father goes lawsuit happy on the school and the only hope of restoring sanity comes from a man in a panda suit. While on their quest to find Sexual Harassment Panda, Kenny learns the dangers of holding a magnet too close to a fan.

Cartman Gets an Anal Probe: The one who started it all. While the boys try to get to the bottom of why the aliens shoved a probe into Cartman, Kenny experiences his first of many deaths as well as the trademark rat devouring.

Pinkeye: Kenny finally gets his revenge. He suffers his expected over the top death he at the hands of a falling space station, only this time he comes back as a zombie and causes trouble for the rest of South Park

The List: A list is published which rates the looks of all the boys at school but it is laden with a conspiracy. A conflict ensues and a gun is pulled but when it’s fired it is Kenny who is at home with his family and no where near the events who gets killed.

Chef Goes Nanners: Tons of antacids+water= Kennysplosion! Pure epicness.

Hooked on Monkey Phonics: Cartman gets a pet monkey to help him learn spelling and Dio plays the school dance, which in of itself ensures an entertaining episode. But when the monkey is driven into a fit of rage by the color orange (I guess) the primate beats Kenny into a bloody pulp effortlessly. Kenny may have died, but it proves that monkeys make everything better.

Mysterion Rises: As the boys adopt superhero guises to meet the challenge of Cartman and the newly risen Cthulu; Kenny tells everyone how he lives with the curse of never achieving eternal rest. The episode gives some long overdue depth to Kenny as a character.

City on the Edge of Forever: A flashback episode which, as it’s title suggests, is a treat for Trek fans. While their school bus is stranded in the wilderness on a cliff’s edge, the children of South Park reminiscence about their previous adventures, all the while a monster lurks in the shadows outside. When the time comes for Kenny to tell his story, he recounts an altered version of events where he defeats the Grim Reaper. In Cartman’s tale Kenny dies in the coolest way possible by being crushed by the Fonz. As expected Kenny becomes a victim of the creature, and that’s what I call a sticky situation.

Kenny Dies: The episode that ends it all for Kenny…for a season at least. With such a big and dramatic death for the character in this episode it is bound to be a tearjerker for South Park fans. With emotion, humor, and biting satire, this episode is the perfect example of this show and it’s best.