Movie Review: ‘Mission: Impossible – Fallout’ (sort of…)


Director: Christopher McQuarrie

Cast: Tom Cruise, Simon Pegg, Ving Rhames, Henry Cavill, Rebecca Ferguson, Sean Harris, Angela Bassett, Michelle Monaghan, Alec Baldwin

Plot: Ethan Hunt and his team of secret agents are tasked with stopping a plot by anarchists to detonate nuclear bombs and cause unprecedented chaos.

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Obligatory Tom Cruise Running joke.

Review: Ok, there are two things that are really bugging me.

Number one – we can clearly see that you don’t have any communication devices in your ears. How can you talk to each other?

Number two – can we please get some younger actors into this series? Start phasing out the regular crew and replacing them with new blood. I don’t think anyone is so attached to Hunt, Benji and Luther that people are going to stage protests outside the studio. The fact of the matter is that these guys are supposed to be super bad-ass secret agents who can handle anything and, after doing the math, we found that the average age of the team is 54. 

54.

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The real impossible mission would be getting stuck infiltrating a nightclub or anywhere else populated with young folk. Tom Cruise’s creeping jowls will make it hard to blend in. The entire premise is based around them selecting the best team for the job, but he’s always got the same two dudes and they’re all really old for this job. It only gets emphasised by the fact that Cruise’s two love interests in the film are at least 15 years younger than him – an oddly unrealistic casting choice Hollywood long ago decided is the norm. It wouldn’t be hard to drop in a few new characters to round out the squad.

For a short while it looked like Jeremy Renner was being positioned to take over the main role from Tom Cruise – a much more sprightly secret agent at a youthful 47 – but he seems to have departed the series. I know I’m going on about this quibble, but when watching the movie you can’t help adding “…at his age” after every mental note. “That’s a lot of running…at his age”. “Wow, these are crazy stunts…at his age”. “This is a great fight, especially at his age!”

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These movies have always been the Tom Cruise Show (in spite of the source material’s rotating cast who each had a different set of skills). But please, for the sake of the premise and future box office take, introduce some younger agents. This isn’t RED 3.

Actually how old is Bruce Willis? (Googling…) Yep, he’s only 6 years older than Tom Cruise and he’s in a series about geriatric, retired secret agents. This is ridiculous. EDIT: It just occurred to me that RED came out 8 years ago…so Tom Cruise is playing the cool, top of his game secret agent while two years older than the retired secret agent in RED.

Ok, look…the movie is fun. It’s not the franchise at it’s peak (4th one) or at it’s worst (2nd, I guess), but it delivers. Henry Cavill is a lot of fun, and brings an intensity to the action scenes that Tom Cruise can’t manage (especially at his age). There’s a brutal smackdown in a bathroom with stands out as particularly good. They’re pushing a human angle on Ethan Hunt, as he’s less an indestructible bad-ass and fucks up more than a few times.

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Also worth mentioning are the stunts. The HALO jump and helicopter hijack are amazing and they captured them incredibly well. You really feel like you’re in the moment in ways CGI could never replicate. That’s one thing a new cast may not be able to deliver, as Cruise famously does his own stunt work. I know I wouldn’t do it.

So yeah, it’s a fun enough action blockbuster featuring a bunch of really old dudes.

Rating: SIX out of TEN.

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