Halloween Marathon: 2002

I’m doing this because I haven’t seen them all and have a lot of work to do and need something to watch. It’s been about 20 odd years since I watched this original, so let’s delve back in… (coincidently the trailer for Halloween Kills just came out!)

Previously: 1978198119821988198919951998

Movie: Halloween: Resurrection

Released: 2002

Director: Rick Rosenthal

Cast: Jamie Lee Curtis, Busta Rhymes, Bianca Kajlich, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Katee Sackhoff, Tyra Banks, Daisy McCrackin, Sean Patrick Thomas, Brad Loree

Plot: Michael Myers has now murdered his remaining sister, and next decides to infiltrate a reality TV show using his childhood home as a setting.

Review: Just like that, all the goodwill built with the well crafted semi-reboot Halloween H20 vanishes. This movie is cheap and shitty.

What stands out most is the performance of Busta Rhymes, playing Freddie Harris, producer of innovative reality TV and martial arts cinema aficionado. This character and the performance are without a doubt the worst thing to occur in this movies so far. He is downright terrible, saying everything he is doing out loud like a pre-schooler putting on a ‘play’. His inclusion just feels like they did anything he suggested because he was the closest thing they had to a name actor they had, so they incorporated every sugar-fuelled idea he had. This side-character suddenly gets away with sassing Michael (Loree), pulling out over-the-top martial arts moves and eventually defeating him before delivering a bizarre speech about Michael being a ‘killer shark in baggy-ass overalls’. This screams untethered ego.

The movie starts off with something interesting: Laurie (Curtis) is faking a catatonic state in a hospital waiting for a return visit from her brother. We get the rest of the ending to the previous film, revealing that Michael swapped places with an orderly and made an escape. When he does return, he finally manages to get the upper hand by preying on Laurie’s human nature and gets his long desired kill. Straight away the movie showcases some awful film production, with random slow motion and insert shots throughout the editing. It’s messy and crappy. Nothing wrong with a bit of stylistic flourish, but this doesn’t serve any purpose.

Everything about this feels amateurish. The knife swung by Michael appears to be making impact sounds even when it doesn’t touch anything. Characters who serve no purpose appear to deliver exposition. Nonsense plot points exist just to put all the characters on TV for Michael to come and find them.

All the characters are creeps and we’re stuck watching them until Michael slowly kills them off. The guy who plays the creep in American Pie makes an unwelcome appearance playing an even bigger creep. Finding Katee Sackhoff doing her best with the material just makes me feel bad for her…fortunately it wasn’t long before she scored a role in Battlestar Galactica.

If there’s one thing that stands out for me, it’s the fennel. They characters find a clue that Michael has been lurking in his childhood home for years because they find a jar of fresh fennel in the kitchen. What the fuck was Michael – who eats raw dead dog – doing with fresh herbs? How much cocaine had the producers done before making this movie?

I don’t get the sense that the people steering this ship understood what made these movies work.

Rating: ONE out of TEN