Casting Call: The Metal Men

By SLAMADAMS

The Metal Men made their debut in Showcase #37 created by writer, Robert Kanigher. They are team of robots created by a young and inventive genius, Will Magnus. They are powered by a “responsometer,” which grants them personalities based on the physical properties of the metal they are made (For example, Lead is very slow and clumsy).  I think in a time when comic book movies are constantly made grittier and more grim than they actually are to appeal to that much treasured 20-30 something male demographic, it would be nice to have something that appeals to a more family-friendly demo. The Pixar people have been doing it for years appealing to the kid in all of us, I think WB should take a stab at it as well. The Metal Men would be a very good vehicle for the state of the art facial recognition software that overlays the actor’s actual emotional response on to a CGI character. And as CGI characters, it is much easier rendering metallic surfaces than organic ones. The method in general seems made for this kind of project

Gold – Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

The most recent incarnation of Gold reminds me a lot of Johnson’s character from Planet 51. He is a brash, over-confident douche-bag, but he is very good-intentioned and suffers from a hero complex

Iron – Patrick Warburton

Iron was more of a meat-head.  He is the team strongman who has a vast knowledge of old timey movies and radio shows. Sort of a man’s man who is inspired by the greats like John Wayne and Charles Bronsan. On both Rules of Engagement and The Venture Brothers, Warburton plays a character tuned in to male bravado, his deep voice and eternally sarcastic voice pattern playing a big part.

Mercury – Tom Kenny

Kenny is most known for the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, but he was also really fantastic as Plastic Man on Batman: Brave and the Bold. Both Plas and Mercury had a lot in common. Besides their stretchy powers, they were both really socialable and one-line spewing comic relief. They are the members of the team you don’t really take seriously, but they always come through for you in the end.  And I know Kenny might not be the most famous actor, but when it is for mocapping a robot, I feel a voice actor is a perfectly suitable option.

Lead – Kevin James

Kevin James has really lost a lot of clout for his Rob Schneider-esque ability to greenlight terrible movie premises, but he is still a very gifted comedian, especially when it comes to his clumsy, spacey everyman like in his show, King of Queens. Lead is very much the same. He has almost a Frosty the Snowman quality. A big lovable doofus.

Tin –  Simon Helberg

Tin is very timid and weak.  He is usually very hesitant for heroics, but ends up following the team anyway. He is kind of like Woody Allen and Barney Fife wrapped up into one. Helberg has had a very strong career as a supporting comedy player usually in a role of a weakling geek who can still turn a phrase. He solidified this strength with his show, The Big Bang Theory.

Platinum (aka Platina) – Portia de Rossi

Platina, Tina for short, is very charismatic and likable. She bases herself off the old fashioned “dames.” She is a really big fan of Betty Boop, and she isn’t afraid of using one-liners. In her role on Arrested Development, de Rossi handled comedy incredibly well. And her character, while categorically unlikable, was definitely manipulative. Her biggest strength was getting people to like her (usually only for a short while). Eventually her likability becomes an annoyance to Will Magnus, so her Arrested character could very well translate to the scenario.

Dr. Will “Doc” Magnus – David Tennant

Will Magnus is bright and intelligent. He seemed like the archetype of Mr. Brady and one of those scientists from 1950s science fiction. Later, he became depressed and bipolar and started taking drugs to adjust his mood. Tennant is a big character guy who likes to milk every bit of eccentricity out of his characters. I suppose I don’t have to bring up Dr. Who, but if you need anymore proof there is the Fright Night remake.