Why I Hate Gwyneth Paltrow with a Passion
I don’t hate celebrities. What’s the point? If I don’t like them I just don’t pay them any heed. Ben Stiller’s brand of humour doesn’t work for me, but it doesn’t make me hate him. I don’t go and see and see his movies because they’d annoy me. It’s not worth wasting energy on. Gwyneth Paltrow is a different story though. I hate her like I hate stepping on a bee. I hate Gwyneth Paltrow like I hate using a cold damp towel to dry off after a hot shower. I hate her like I hate The Phantom Menace. My sheer, unbridled hatred of Paltrow has come up on this site several times before, with movies routinely having a star removed for featuring her (unless she gets decapitated or has a cranial autopsy). Inquires as to the reason for this have been made but it hasn’t been addressed. Until now…
In summation, she has a rotten attitude. This may not seem like a reason worthy of such bile, but her attitude is that her ‘wisdom’ and ‘beliefs’ must be imparted to us all for our own good – while she remains oblivious to the fact that she was born into luxury and her ‘wisdom’ is only applicable to people who, like her, are in the 1%. You see, Gwyneth is the daughter of a successful actress and movie/television producer who could afford a pampered life for their children. Far from a bad thing – everyone wants to provide the best for their children and if they can then more luck to them. Gwyneth was sent to Crossroads School, known for it’s large population of Hollywood children, and the illustrious Spence School, a private girls school in New York.
With this upbringing it’s not difficult to see why Paltrow has trouble seeing that the life available to her isn’t so easily accessible to the larger population. It sounds like she was insulated from the filthy masses by a thick layer of wealth. Like many people born into a wealthy showbiz family any career she wanted to try out simply became available to her. After beginning an Arts degree at University she dropped out in 1990, announcing her intentions to be an actress. For the average person this would be sacrificing a higher education that they may not have another chance at to pursue a nigh on impossible dream, accepting a life of poverty and struggling to chase a dream. For Gwyneth it took less than a year to break in the biz. Likewise with her ‘music career’, after singing in a movie she announced she would release some singles and BOOM it happens.
So Paltrow was born into the easy life and has had everything handed to her. So did Paris Hilton, but I don’t write articles about how much I despise her. What’s the difference? Paris Hilton doesn’t try and offer the working class advice on how to live their life and raise their children.
Yes, the privileged, brainless twig that is Gwyneth Paltrow has deemed herself worthy of sharing her home life tips with us simple folk. The sheer gall of this person to think she could apply her home life routines to ours is unbelievable. The fact that the advice offered on her website and newsletter (with the every-so-catchy name of ‘GOOP’) is so hair-yankingly ridiculous it’s hard to imagine that ANYONE would consider such things good advice, let alone something worthy of publication.
Paltrow has an easy life. She is one of the lucky ones. But it would be preferable for her to take that life and live it quietly somewhere up on a hill than for her to try and turn herself into a lifestyle guru. Under the downright insultingly headed feature ‘Tips for Real Working Mums’ this is illustrated to a tee. Putting aside the fact that the ‘real’ and ‘working’ mums offering the advice include a Hollywood actress, venture capitalist Juliet de Baubigny, fashion designer Stella McCartney you’d have to live in one thick walled bubble to think that these ‘tips’ would be applicable to the average punter.
How many working mums can book their private personal trainer to visit them on Monday to get them pumped for the week? No doubt the same ones who need advice on which beauty parlor can get them their weekly pedi, mani and massage inside of just 70 minutes. God knows that they’re going to need to be relaxed when they have to try and limit the amount of time their kids spend playing on their individual iPads (“what up gamers?”, Gwyneth adds as there are no doubt thousands of gamers following her retarded advice). Get an ‘amazing personal assistant’ is one thing these “real working mums” could all agree on. Not to forget the helpful tip to have your fishmonger deliver at least twice a week so you’ve got a fresh catch on hand for a quick fish dinner.
Who the living fuck has a fishmonger?!
This advice comes from the same brain hemorrhaging simpleton whose recommendations for family-friendly restaurants feature kids macroni-and-cheese starting at $25. Who suggested that, it being the beginning of winter, her readers should invest in some new boots. She had done just that and posts up a list of some of her favourites – a list that totaled more than $5000 worth of shoes. In one case she suggested one $230 pair as a ‘cheap substitute’ for a $1095 pair.
I’m going to say it again. This newsletter is written for real working mums. Please tell me that this twit is on crack when she writes this stuff.
Speaking of crack, she has a tendency to over react. She has been quoted as saying that she would “rather smoke crack than use cheese from a can”. We can’t all afford gourmet deliveries, bitch.
Moving past the awfulness of GOOP, let’s look at her insane attempts to get public approval. First we can look at why Gwyneth is a 9/11 hero. When the first plane it and the buildings started to fall some brave souls ran pellmell into that disaster to save their fellow man. While they were doing this Gwyneth was…somewhere else. BUT before the attack began she was driving through New York and almost flattened a pedestrian with her over-sized SUV. That pedestrian missed their tube after having to retreat back to sidewalk to avoid the oncoming maniac, leading to her being late for work at the WTC, leading to her being out of the office when the planes struck.
Paltrow publicly takes credit for saving this girls life.
No doubt the name Gabrielle Giffords rings a bell. She was tragically shot in the head by a would-be assassin. After hours of intense surgery where skull fragments and necrotic tissue was removed from her brain she was put into an induced coma to rest her severally damaged cranium. The recovery process was long and difficult.
Obviously Gwyneth felt that she had to do everything she could – so she called a press conference to announce the world that she was in fact Giffords second cousin. What she didn’t do was make any contribution, pay a visit or in any way do anything that could be considered useful. Instead she called together the mouthpieces of the world press to let everyone know that this severely injured woman whose family were anxiously waiting at her bedside, who Gwyneth Paltrow HAD NEVER MET, was in some way related to her.
These are the actions of a person who have convinced themselves that they are relevant by their good fortune of being born wealthy. Gwyneth Paltrow needs to shut the fuck up and get out of my world. The motto of her website is MAKE, GO, GET, DO, BE and SEE. She makes it all seem so easy – all you need is an endless supply of money and a nanny for each child.
Her #1 piece of advice for parents? “Get at least seven hours of uninterrupted sleep a night”. On behalf of every parent who has an actual job, and who personally gets out of bed to settle their young children, I’d like to invite you – Gwyneth Paltrow – to take your website, print it out and cram the entire lot of it up your narrow rectum.
But maybe there’s another perspective I’m not considering. Maybe her advice has been of use to other people with unlimited income. Or they don’t take advice from a freaking idiot who has custom made ear-mufflers made for her children to attend their fathers rock concerts. Because they won’t need that hearing later in life.
I would never have expected this sort of blog from you lol
Personally, I find some other celebs to be way worse that Gwen.
It really is the parenting ‘advice’ that irks me. I’d accept her being a ‘real working mum’ if she worked for a living and raised her kids without hired help.
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BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Somehow… I knew this was going to eventually happen…
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Eventually, when I stop laughing, I will leave a comment… (nahhhh I’m not going to stop laughing)
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“My sheer, unbridled hatred of Paltrow has come up on this site several times before, with movies routinely having a star removed for featuring her (unless she gets decapitated or has a cranial autopsy).”…or is in THE AVENGERS? (because that’s an exception). Personally, I think her acting skills isn’t bad though, even if she’s an arrogant..naive mum. I quite enjoy her as Pepper Potts in Iron Man.
By extension I hate Rachel McAdam’s for turning down the role, leaving it in Gwyneth Paltrow’s goopy hands. Also – Paltrow only took the role because she lived five minutes from the set of Stark’s house.
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finally someone says exactly what I have been thinking for years touche sir
Reblogged this on That Tragedy Rocks Your World and commented:
Yeah, I’ve never been big on her, either.
I never understood why people didn’t like Gwyneth, and never really cared much for her as an actress anyway, so I didn’t bother finding out why. Then, I read an article where she stole her now ex-best friend’s, Winona Ryder (who i absolutely love to death), role in a movie. What a backstabbing bitch! Your post just makes me hate her even more, thanks for writing it.
Try to find the GOOP newsletter that Gwyneth wrote about a ‘frenemy’ who was hell-bent on taking her down and when she heard that this person was humiliated publicly(as in the shoplifting trial), she(Gwyn) felt a sigh of relief…..
Some people thinks it’s Miss Ryder( who I also adore, like you), you decide when you read the goopy newsletter…
Highly satisfying read. I’m glad I came across your website. I’ve really given up on hating her coz I find that it’s a waste of time. It’s still fun to read stuff like this though. Freakin hilarious!!!!
“everyone wants to provide the best for their children”
even people who don’t have any?
Gwyneth sucks i agree.
she had numerous plastic procedures and still looks yukki,like she smells something stinky in the air,maybe her aura…she is brain limited and what Chris Martin saw in here?Look at those children,they all look like her,….absolutely obnoxious…
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I don’t like the women much. It annoys me to no end when she feel the need to tell others how to eat, dress, live etc…
Well, she can’t act for shit even if her life depended on it but it kind of makes you wonder whether she’s into scientology.
You seem very bitter. I chanced upon your website when i am puzzled by the negative comments she gets everytime i saw her news. So you are jealous because she is born privileged and healthy. She teaches people how to live, eat, wear. So u hate oprah, martha, Jamie oliver, Tyra banks? That’s crazy. I am not a fan of hers but i like her. Very funny and genuine. I think she looks down to earth unlike those divas.
At least she is not as trashy, fake as paris hilton and others. Instead encourage ppl to eat healthy, instead of hitting clubs or showing the middle finger to reporters.
So you hate all rich and famous ppl? I still can’;t figure out why is she hated from what you’ve written.
Maybe some ppl just don;t see eye to eye with her.
You’re an idiot.
Uhh no offense but people all have their opinions. Don’t call people idiots for saying what they believe in. I literally just read this blog and I have some thoughts myself but I don’t bother calling people idiots just because they like someone that you hate. I like her, what’s the big deal? We all have our preferences. And honestly, she’s much better than some of the actresses I’ve seen so cut her some slack.
Yes, people do have their opinions. My opinion is that Paltrow is an idiot.
Claire – Gwyneth is a pretentious, obnoxious TWIT! She’s a woman who was born on third base but think’s she hit a triple. You’re saying “What does that mean?” It means that Ms. Twit thinks she has worked really hard to get where she is in life, only to forget she’s been there since the day she was born.
Oprah doesn’t give advice to “real working mums”. Plus, good ol’ Paltrow ISN’T A WORKING MUM, she is rich and has no worries in the world. Most people (all people) in the demographic she is supposedly targeting don’t have a fishmonger, or can afford a $230 pair of shoes, as a cheap alternative
Claire, You are an idiot. The article in now way says the writer is jealous. But if you follow people like Oprah, you are a moron.
So, working mother huh? So she’s had the pleasure of going to work all day, coming home to cook a meal, wash clothing, change poopy diapers, scrub a dirty toilet, and stay up half the night with a sick child, then get up to have to go to work again, with no one helping but her husband. No chef, no instructors, no nannies, no hired help. Get through that Gwennie and I’ll call you a working mom, maybe.
I don’t hate her, but she has no idea what it is to “work hard”, and her impractical nature irks me.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you for expressing EXACTLY how I feel about Ms. Paltrow. I could not have written it better myself.
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This is one of the most awesome drags of a celebrity I have ever read. I’m calling the FBI, I just witnessed a murder!
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Pepper Potts is a whiner, lectures Tony constantly and probably makes him feel like he’s letting her down (if he were real), and she has zero humour. Oh also, she is blind to a lot of obvious things like Tony’s coping mechanisms and doesn’t try to help or show patience. If they were a real life couple I’d hope they split instead of trying to fit a square peg in a round hole so to speak. Characters aren’t right for each other.
I feel like many of these is an accurate examples of defining Paltrow as well (from what I heard). She’s all pleasant until she isn’t centre of attention.
I’ve always found Paltrow to be so-so acting wise but from everything I’ve read about her it sounds like she weasels her way into getting more work because friends hook her up. Not the greatest thing but sure okay…the problem is when she lectured people and post blogs about how to get a job. Blogging about how to keep weight off when she has all day every day to exercise and has a personal trainer. It’s ridiculous.
I checked out the Goop site and she’s talking about buying ‘affordable’ clothes. The examples on the site are for t-shirts going for over $120. So yeah I agree she is very out of touch.
She may not be the best, but not everyone’s perfect. Also no offense but you guys don’t really know her. Maybe if you knew her, and actually got to see the real her, you would understand more. Just because you see all these things online or on the news, doesn’t mean it’s necessarily true or the whole thing. I know she has her bad points, but she also has her good points. I find her to be a fun, laughing, smiling, kind person from my point of view. People may not agree but that’s what I think. Plus I think her as an actress is fine, I don’t see why people don’t like her acting? She acts fine and I like watching her in movies or tv shows (i.e marvel movies, glee, contagion, etc.). And to end it off, (will be offensive) don’t judge people on their acting or what they do and say their bad at it or they shouldn’t be doing it, when you yourself can’t do what they can do or have done everyday of their lives. Celebrities have it hard too you know? They aren’t invincible because oh they have so much money or something. Sorry if this turned out to be a rant but I’m just trying to prove a point without striking a bunch of haters. P.S. if even RDJ likes her, then she’s someone that also worth looking at or liking.
Totally agree with you 100%. I equally hate her and Kate Hudson. Both horrible actresses who wouldn’t be anything without their celeb parents. I love the MCU but I hate it that she is in it. She totally ruins it for me. Not to mention her Goop thing is a total joke.
She definitely qualifies as SuperCunt
How Chris Martin ever saw anything in that,
I can’t comprehend …