Top 10 ‘Nostalgia Critic’ Episodes

With To Boldly Flee the ‘That Guy With the Glasses’ website retires its flagship series – the Nostalgia Critic. A character created and played by Doug Walker the foul mouthed and psychotic film reviewer would cast his gaze back to the 80s and 90s and take apart films that people have nostalgic memories of. Most of his reviews were negative but whether they were good or bad they were funny. The ‘Critic’ has some of the most creative use of swear words since Ari Gold and his violent outbursts could easily raise a chuckle. In addition he’s got a pretty solid grasp of film theory and the points he makes are often on the money.

While it is good to see a producer end their series before it jumped the shark, I still wish Clue and The Last Starfighter could’ve been given a review. Still – here’s ten episodes we’ll be happy to rewatch. Follow the link to enjoy!

10. Drug Cartoon Special

If you’re young enough to remember this special that brought together all the popular cartoon characters on the time for a one-off special you also remember it being one of the most crushing disappointments of your young life. It was hyped as hell, being advertised weeks in advance (with particular emphasis of the Ninja Turtles) promising characters from a dozen different shows participating in an epic adventure. Instead it was a half-hour long anti-drug commercial featuring constant cameos from characters to hammer in a confused and inconsistent message about why we shouldn’t take drugs. Perhaps part of the problem is that the target audience may have been a bit young to be using drugs on the level that they needed Bugs Bunny, Alf and the Smurfs to do an intervention – I certainly know that my first understanding of illegal drugs came from this show.
Watching it again with the Critic providing commentary is downright surreal, even if he still was refining the character.

Drug Cartoon Special

9. The Lost World: Jurassic Park

Jeff Goldblum impersonation lessons, the continuity errors between the first and second films, the murder-by-proxy that Vince Vaughn seems determined to bestow on everyone – there’s plenty of funny to be had with this review. There’s a couple of solid ideas in this ill-fated follow up, but they quickly get washed away by a tidal wave of bitter, angry rage.

The Lost World

8. Casper

This gets included just for the jerk Casper who co-hosts with Critic. Cracks me up every time.

Casper

7. Godzilla

“That’s a lot of fish”. During the 90s studios started to get the hang of mass marketing and put this to full use coming up to the release of the big-budget US remake of Godzilla. The only thing as impressive as the marketing for this movie was how terrible it turned out to be. It gets the pillocking it justly deserves with the non-acting of Matthew Broderick becoming the main focus of the vitriol. For a fun double feature follow it up with Inspector Gadget.

Godzilla

6. Dumbest Spider-Man Moments

Yes the Raimi Spider-Man trilogy is pretty solid but as NC illustrates here by counting out the 11 dumbest moments across the three films. He outwardly acknowledges that he likes the movies but there really is some shockingly stupid scenes here. Plenty of chuckles to have here both at the material and the Critic’s reaction to it.

Spider-Man Moments

5. Super Mario Bros.

Older geeks will remember just how disappointed they were with this mess, and some younger geeks remains blissfully oblivious to the horror. If your routine is dragging up cinema failures from the 80s and 90s then this is essential viewing. It’s downright confusing as to what the writers and directors of this trash were thinking as it bears no resemblance to the source material. Critic’s handling of the infamous ‘Mario Mario’ scene is priceless.

Super Mario Bros

4. Space Jam

I’d be lying if I claimed that I didn’t find this fun when I was younger, but it’s pretty unwatchable after being through film school. The combination of Michael Jordon and Bugs Bunny is strange enough until you realize that the entire thing is an information. The scene where Wayne Knight sticks his head into a room just to rattle off a bunch of sponsors is awkward. Critic digs into Space Jam as a person who grew up with the Looney Tunes and is outright pissed off about their re-emergence as product spokes-animals.

Space Jam

3. Alone in the Dark

NC finally consents to reviewing a Uwe Boll movie but the on-screen disaster left him in such a state of shock he could no longer speak. In order to complete the review he utilises a text-to-speech program and a visit from Spooney and Linkara. This movie is so awful that you really do need three reviewers to pick it apart, and the three of them deliver plenty of laughs. Taking shots at a Uwe Boll movie makes for an easy target but it’s worth it.

Alone in the Dark

2. The Room

If you haven’t seen the latest ‘Worst. Movie. Evar.’ then please take the time to go and watch it now. Seriously, it’s so awful you will not believe what you’re seeing. It’s amazing, and you’ll never really be able to work out if it’s supposed to be genuine or if it’s the troll of the decade. Critic does manage to convey the confusion of viewers perfectly, everything from being creeped out by Denny to being perplexed by Tommy Wiiseau’s acting. If you can’t manage to sit through the full film this is a solid compromise. Plus – a world controlled by seahorses.

The Room

1. Batman and Robin

Sometimes the movies that get reviewed on this show don’t quite deserve the sound thrashing that NC gives them. Not so with Batman & Robin. Not only is this a terrible movie but it makes a mockery of the Batman cinema franchise after Tim Burton had completely changed the public perception of what had become a rather camp character. With this film Joel Schumacher essentially turned one of geek cultures most treasured icons back four decades. Critic pulls no punches whatsoever, tearing apart the style, the casting, action, the costumes, the script…pretty much everything.

Batman and Robin

And then there’s the Bat Credit Card…